My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love you. Go after that dick
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
