Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
