I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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