I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize