Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
