I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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