I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste