i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.