Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Terrible idea I love it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize