I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS