My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed