i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
