I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize