im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
