So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
