wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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