I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
