I think my fart just growled at me.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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