I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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