Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
