Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
