whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
