but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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