No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
