Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
