So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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