with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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