butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
