Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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