Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
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Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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