I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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