It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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