Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize