I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
