Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
