yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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