So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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