i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
