His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
