I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
