i don't like sucking hair
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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