I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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