No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
