this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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