I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
