im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
