She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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