no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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