I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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