LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
