Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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