I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
