I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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