Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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