let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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