I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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