i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
