so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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