I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
