I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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