Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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