could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
