I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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