To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
