I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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