No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
