So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
